just back from hearing my friends Mr. Dillard, Phil Waggoner, and various men of impeccable and unreproachable character playing very good music and living out their passion,
i now find myself with a 15-yr Glenmorangie (say Glen-MOR-angie, like saying "orange" with some extra phoenetics) whisky in hand, lightning in the background, and Chopin's piano concerto no. 1 in the background. i am compelled to write, because certain ideas have slapped me across the chest today. they grab the scraggly back of my head and force me upward, to inhale all manner of questions and confusions and wild tensions.
this may take a while. feel free to come and go as you please.
walking up the stairs of the Boulder Bookstore, albeit an hour early, chairs are still being set forth. very few chairs, it turns out - the space is small, intimate. we find a row of three, just a couple rows back from the "stage," really just little more than a step up with a folding table.
the first time i saw Mr. Bell, he had packed out the Paramount Theatre in Denver. just yesterday, he spoke at Denver Seminary - the one and same institution where God himself has brought me for this season in my life - as it went, the doors opened at 9, and I am told, the entire university's chapel room was at capacity by 9:05.
now, the same voice, the same man, joins us in a room of 50. in the sweltering hot upstairs of the bookstore we steep, and then Rob is in front of us...not exactly "sitting" (the chair, "a throne" as Ally would later refer to this tall, uncomfortable, posture-correcting apparatus, was not once occupied during the entire session), but more bouncing with fervent energy as he perched upon the edge of the table, legs sometimes swinging wildly. it reminded me of one of those ventriloquist puppets...
questions began. questions were answered, though for one to attempt to reconnect an answer to a specific question would be to attempt a maddening exercise indeed. this is a man who clearly has more to say than he feels need to restrain.
so, rather than make the attempt, i will endeavour to provide you with succinct notes from my fervent scratchings which i made within a Norwegian children's book (to explain this would take more time and room than i am willing to devote at this juncture):
(also, please understand that my use of quotation marks is highly liberal here. i only provide them to indicate my best summation of Mr. Bells' comments.)
1. "We are in the midst of a Historic Reclaiming of Christianity. People are beginning to realize that what Christianity has turned into is not what it was intended to be in some fundamental ways. There is this toxic straining and striving for that which we've had the whole time. Some of us are, in a sense, Returning to Roots."
i remember my Hebrew professor, Dr. Dallaire, saying not long ago that she believed it was a move of the Holy Spirit that Christians are now rediscovering and celebrating the Jewish roots of our faith. the phrase "Historic Reclaiming" strikes me a bit funny, as no doubt there have been many such movements during 2000+ years of Christ followers, and we know for sure of the reforms during Josiah's reign and later under Ezra and Nehemiah in the Old Testament.
still, i cannot help but resonate with his statement. as i continue to be challenged in my understanding of the Jewish'ness of the scriptures and of Jesus' teachings, i begin to feel great humility and awe at the move of God that would allow me to be some small part of bringing that joy, that feeling of
"OH, so THAT'S what this means!"
every time the Spirit of God illumines a passage for me in what may be closer to its original context, and connecting dots from this...to this...to that, and just falling to my knees (usually figuratively, but not always) and being like,
"no way is that what this is really saying! why has no one told me this???"
2. "Fear is an awesome fundraiser."
this one is still permeating and steeping within me. Hell House comes to mind.
3. "Luke 8:10, 'To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the Kingdom of God...' for Jesus, knowing, knowledge, was a Flesh-and-Blood Real Thing. It is not simply information to rearrange into your mind."
Rob seemed to be saying here that "knowing," in Kingdom language, meant acting. it is not some purely intellectual pursuit, but a holistic integration of Kingdom values, Kingdom logic, Kingdom grace and peace, into our daily lives.
4. Rob was asked about his overall motivation for writing the book (Love Wins). was it addressed primarily to Christians, to non-Christians, etc? his response was, "both, and more. the point is that God has thrown a party and everyone is invited. the book has two parts of a tension: first, that Jesus issues an URGENT invitation to be part of this thing, but while also acknowledging the REALITY of God's love/grace, which seems to leave that invitation open for as long as it takes. when someone comes along and claims to have resolved that TENSION which is created by these two aspects of God's message, that one has likely missed the deeper truth which the tension was created to illustrate."
5. i'm not sure if this even followed from a specific question, but i ABSOLUTELY LOVED this: "i don't Google my name. people will tell me what other people are saying about me, and i'll be like 'oh.' criticism WILL shape you - but you choose if you, after receiving criticism, just throw it back in the other person's lap....or, you can choose for it to reshape you by refining you.
"I get up in the morning, make breakfast with my wife, then we might walk the dog for a little bit. And then when I sit down, whatever I'm working on - a video, a book, a sermon - I just start to let it come out. i don't think about what other people might think of it - all I know is that there is this FIRE in me to make it, and if I don't make it, I'll spontaneously combust."
i love that he said this. in fact, it may be THE DEFINING THOUGHT that i took away from this afternoon. i feel that fire. i just don't always know what to do with it. and, sometimes i don't feel up to the task, when someone like Rob Bell can so competently vocalise or illistrate what my fire is putting on my same mind.
the thought has been with me lately, 'why even do this? is there a need for me to continue on when someone else has already put all this out there?'
but hearing him talk about that FIRE, the same fire which burns in me, i see that God gives Rob Bell that fire the same way he gives me that fire. just as he must create with it, so must i. it is not for me to decide whether or not to use the fire...
just HOW.
6. "I love my wife, and decided to marry her, because I couldn't imagine another day without her. But I didn't marry her because I didn't want to be with Sheila. Or Linda. Or Joan."
he was illustrating the absurdity of presenting relationship with God, or heaven, in terms of "it's either this, or Hell." basically that Hell is a horrible motivation for someone to "choose" Christ, because they haven't chosen Christ at all then. they've just chosen one destination over another.
7. Rob was asked about the phrase, 'everything happens for a reason,' especially when used as a source of comfort for someone going through difficult times. Rob's answer:
"This might be one of those phrases, one of those things we throw out there, that is better as a rear-view mirror than as a window. I have performed tragic, heartbreaking funerals, where people will offer platitudes from scripture like, 'all things work together for good' or, 'there is a reason for all things.' And I'm left thinking, perhaps we should save these thoughts for later - maybe we should refrain from this kind of thing in the moment and let the moment play out. Let the grief, the healing, the actual experience of tragedy, guide us to greater wisdom.
"My dad was 8 years old, when an uncle put him in the car and they began driving towards the funeral home. When my dad asked why they were going to the funeral home, he was told that his dad was dead, but that this was a time to celebrate his dad's passing. It was expected that he not cry, as this was a happy occasion - after all, he was now with Jesus. The same happened a few years later, when his high school-aged brother died. There must be a time to grieve and to allow the natural ebb and flow of our humanity to surface."
8. "We should hold onto God's justice and judgment - after all, we CRAVE justice. We cry out when we see or hear about injustice. Sex trafficking, those who prey on the weak, 300,000 people in Africa who have HIV, but for $2 could get antiviral medications that would greatly reduce the mortality rate, millions who go without clean drinking water. We want justice.
"When Heaven and Earth come together, there will then be a sense of 'you can't do THAT here.' This is what is meant in Revelation when John says that all these things will pass away."
9. "If we LOSE the tension of our faith, of the words of Jesus, this is tragic. Many feel the need to 'take a stand' on one side of an issue of faith, or the other. when, really, the STAND we should be taking is to embrace both sides and to embrace the tension."
this one i need to think about a little bit more. i agree that there are many aspects of the faith which require a tension to "work." i agree in the sense that nothing should be "off the table" in terms of conversation or discussion.
Summary:
after hearing Rob today, i am left with the overwhelming impression that he wants the CONVERSATION to happen. the dogmatic ways in which so many have approached faith, the lack of willingness to question or be questioned, has led us far from the roots of knowing YHWH the God of the Old and New Testaments.
though my review of Love Wins will have to wait for a day in the near future, i am greatly encouraged, partly for altruistic reasons, and partly for blatantly selfish reasons.
The altruistic: this book has raised some KICKIN' conversations over the past few weeks. people are talking about some sacred cows. people are leaving room for tension and debate, and seem to be at least making some room for these tensions to form in their walks with and towards God. my deep, honest, and tired (perhaps also slightly tipsy as i've had now more than 1 whisky) prayer is that this will permeate and grow in the weeks to come.
The selfish: now that these things are floating out there, i now know that My Fire is not mine to ignore. i wake so often compelled to just CREATE and read and record and listen and especially and most definitely CONVERSE about all these things and more.
this gives me the most wonderful hope that my voice will be heard, and that there are many, many things to say.
so i see what started as a post with poetic metaphors and illustrative language has morphed into tired but joyful ramblings. i bid you good night.
