Let Me Grow Young

A month or so back, a co-worker casually told this story, about her grandfather I think it was...the story has haunted me since. I'd like to share it.

The story goes, that her family was gathered at the house one night. The grandfather, in his 90's, still insisted on taking his turn with the chores - this night, he was washing the dishes as the rest of the family socialized in the living room. At one point, someone noticed that granddad was taking an awfully long time with this chore.

They found him slumped over the kitchen sink, dish and washcloth still in hand.

And she said that the entire family gathered in the doorway. No one screamed, or cried.

They just...marveled.

They just...stood, in awe.

In reverence, to a life fully lived.

I usually picture someone's last days spent in a hospital bed, maybe some feeding tubes. Sickness, pain, everyone holding their breath through the night to see if he or she "made it" to another day. But not this man.

He was just living life, doing a perfectly ordinary thing. In one instant, he was washing a dish, fully present in the same world he had spent the past 90-odd years. And then...he was gone.

It makes me reverent.

He went somewhere. He lived life, then he left. Where did he go?

Heather Nova is a new favourite of mine: "Sitting here I remember, it's easy to smile. Let me grow young, like a brand new day, like I've just begun."

This story, these lyrics, they slap me across the face, they pour ice cold conviction down my back.

I burn, something in me screams, to lead people somewhere. To take my turn at my post.

To wash the dishes.

How can I feel younger at 30 than I did at 20?

Because there is purpose, passion, authority, which compels me forward to take people somewhere they've never been. It's easy to grow old on the inside, which is what God is really concerned with: our heart, our inside.

What screams inside you?

We never have to grow old. We were never meant to.

Let's all go somewhere together.

Let's grow young together.

Being Green in an Apartment

I have had several discussions the past few weeks regarding home ownership vs. renting. I am tempted to (though I won't) go into the philosophy behind land/home ownership, and why it is not the achievement, status marker, or privilege it once was. Witness the plethora of "subprime" loan defaults, and what this has done to the world economy.

But land ownership no longer means you "own" the land. Let's say you own, and would like to be green. Put up a solar panel or install a compost box in your front yard, and you earn the wrath of your sullen neighbours. Thou Shalt Not Violate the Neighbourhood Covenant. Thy lawn shall be cropped, your car shalt not lie upon cinder blocks, and you and your family shall be beautiful, easy on the eyes, and loving at all times for thy neighbours' benefit.

Welcome to Pleasantville (formerly Dysfunction Junction).

I'm sure you're picking up the sarcasm, as was once quoted in the masterpiece Tommy Boy, because I'm laying it on pretty thick. Home owners' agreements (HOAs), neighbourhood covenants, and the like are a not-so-subtle method of control - community feudalism. And it's unnecessary.

Not that home ownership is never a good idea. For many of my friends, married with families, home ownership makes quite a bit of sense. I grew up out in the countryside of Ohio with farms bordering 3 sides of the house, and I can't imagine spending that childhood trapped in a Dayton apartment or condo with no room to explore outdoors. Though of course, owning a house means lots of work - you're committed to those studs and drywall, and you may even find yourself hosting a DIY party!

Nothing spells "fun" like alcohol, power tools, twelve friends, and a guest bathroom that needs redone.

The whole reason for this post is that I am in the process of discovering just how fun being in an apartment can be. As a birthday gift last year, I got my first issue of ReadyMade magazine and have fallen in love with their little DIY projects. I find myself looking around my little apartment saying, "what can I do with THIS corner? what can I build that would do this??" And with a little help from my favourite store of all time, 10,000 Villages, it's working pretty well, I must say.

Plus, in the words of the late, great Mitch Hedberg: "I wanna go to the Apartment Depot. Just a bunch of guys standing around saying 'I have an apartment, I don't gotta fix s***'."

Now, after all that, I will definitely admit to looking at a house for sale on Oak Street this week, and wistfully thinking about how great it would look with a new deck...

Connection and Disconnect

Okay so this probably won't make a whole lot of sense....but it is therapeutic for me to put some thoughts down for the world to see. So let's try to keep up, shall we?

I had an experience this morning. It's one of those times where you're sitting across from someone and you're sharing really deep, intimate, personal stuff, but it's really a goodbye moment where you realize that this is the last time you will ever share yourself with that person. Someone I've been connected to, but when the conversation was over and I walked away, I became disconnected from.

If it's God's plan that we all enter into relationship, then why do relationships end?

I used to think this was tragic, but I don't think that anymore. Actually, I think it is beautiful. Because two imperfect people tried to make a connection and it didn't stick. Things like personality, pride, lies, insecurity, and all kinds of other gunk got in the way, but here were two imperfect people who gave it a go anyways.

And if God promises that all the gunk will one day be burned away, then what are we left with? Perfect relationships. Nothing can stand in the way of this eventually happening, and all the pain and injustice will be forgotten.

Human relationships are beautiful because two imperfect people attempt to participate in the work of God. And I believe He smiles on our feeble attempts to instinctively make things right again.